When, as an elder, I stop and focus on the type of person who inhabited this body and mind in my early earth years, it gets fuzzy. Is it the perception of me about me, or others about me that I remember. It really doesn’t matter much, except the part of me that was always decisive and felt powerful can now feel very far removed from the present me.
For a year or so I have given in to the idea of upgrading my condo and enjoy the new light rail a block away, neighbors I know and get ready to age in place. Then, I realized that could be 15 years of living in the same place, looking at the same non-existent view and eventually having a boring existence instead of the living fully until dying way Ithat is more my style.
A month of introspection followed that thought and a plan is emerging. There will be numerous family members and friends who will want me to take the safer and saner way of planning, but, if I remember, my younger self never let that stop her. Not all my decisions were practical, but at each turn of the long road I learned what I needed to.
One of the major issues of course is finances–my poor choices resulted in those worries being carried along into old age. But, I have enough–except in an inflated housing market. One of the fall outs from any plan may be moving to a storage shed in Iowa.
This was not going to be something that I wrote about in a blog, but I am not the only widowed women this impacts…actually any woman period.
In several months when the plan is in place I will write an update and hopefully have some information to share that may help you or friends to expand their thinking.