Perpetual Hesitation

Numerous habits of mine are annoying to everyone, including myself.  More than simply annoying, they are sad and limit my capacity as an elder who strives toward exceptional. But, seldom in my life has perpetual hesitation overtaken me. Depression and anxiety and anger and self-pity (for 15 minutes at a time, once a week) have visited, but not the aforementioned stagnation.

This pause before a decision comes in the form of doubting yourself, vacillating for a longer period of time or faltering for lack of courage. All, shades of grey in the process of having a firm decision–especially when that decision needs to be made before events are out of control and especially out of YOUR control.

Doubt before you gather facts and look at the balance sheet and talk to logical friends and family is expected…..but. This all goes back to the comfort zone and moving out to claim a fearlessness  versus constant reluctance to decide. Is it too late at an elder age to shift  habits? I would say no with caveats. Training and being aware help with the most minor of hesitations. That in turn helps with the big hesitations. Hearing friends talk about making big decisions on a whim, but not being able to choose an entrée at a restaurant don’t really reflect how our brain works. That big decision was undoubtably churning in your subconscious for a bit or a trigger from the environment and your previous choices helped you think it is fast, and the entree decision to me meant that you are not focused or not living in the moment.

Since the world is beginning the Fall quarter of school I am going to let you go back to school on this blog.  In 2011 I put together my favorite exercise of all time and slapped a copyright on it. Starting on the 4th of September you will be given a new practice to help you both loosen and tighten your decision and habit muscles. The exercises will be one a day for at least 10 days.

Rest and enjoy the time until you return to the classroom of your mind.




Author: furloughbaby

I am an elder working toward extraordinary. A retired professional, I teach classes at Colorado Free University and enjoy my family.

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